GENERAL MSGS

1. meethi se hawa lagi abhi abhi,kya aapne yaad kiya abhi abhi,
Apse milne ki kismet to nahi phir bhi yu laga ,aap mil kar gaye abhi…!!


2. Kya hai dil ki halat batana nahi ata, kisi ko aise tadpana nahi ata.
Sunna chahte hai ek bar awaz aapki magar baat karne ka bahana nahi aata…



3. subah teri-sham meri ho din tera-raat meri ho hasi teri-udasi meri ho
aur maut aaye to dost kabar teri or usme laash meri ho…..


4. life is only travelled once,today’s momentbecomes tomorrow’smemory
Enjoy every moment good or bad,becose the gift of life is life its


5. Umer ki rah me raste badal jate hai,waqt ki andhi me insane badal jate hai.
Sochte hai tumhe itna yaad na kare lekin ankh band karte hi irade badal jate hai…


7. aapke bistar pe makdi lage,aapke room me machhar phire,rajai phate,puri raat thand lage.
Aapke sapno me bhoot aaye. Agar aap mujhe bhool jayen….

8. daulat hai muzko jindgi se pyari,daulat ke liye kar du kurban yari
daulat ke liye tod du dosti tumhari.ab tumse kya chupana tum hi to ho daulat hamari…

9. unhone dekha or ansu gir pade,bhari barsat me jaise phool bikhre pade
gam wo nahi k unhone hume alvida kaha,gum to ye hai ki uske bad wo khud ro pade…

10. kisi ko apna banana me der lag jati hai,ke wada nibhane meder lag jati hai.
Pyar to pal bhar me ho jata hai,par use bhulane me umer lag jati hai….

11. what is love? Shakespeare say’s:- do not ask the person who loves some one,
but ask the person who is loosing some one. They only can feel the true love…

12. is kadar na har bat yaro se pucho,jo bat raaj ki ho isharo se pucho.
Lahro se khelna to samundar ka shouk hai, lagti hai chot kitni kinaro se pucho….

13. fulin ki wadi me ho basera aap ka, sitaron ke aangan me ho ghar aapka.
Dua hai ek dost ki ek dost ko, ki sare jahan se khubsurat ho savera aapka….

14. Sunday mean’s:-
s:-sote raho
u:-utho der se
n:-nahao mat
d:-dekhte raho tv
a:-arem hi karo
y:-yad karo doston kokam se kamek bar
so enjoy ur Sunday….!

15. 7 girl 1 smile, 7 smile 1 meet, 7 meeting 1prapose, 7 prapose 1 love,7 love 1 marrige.
1 marrige 7777777 problem so beware of marriage..

16. pak need 5 run’s in 1 ball.injamam says ya ali ek or chhaka de,
allah replied kutte pura Pakistan phar diya aur kitne du…

17. e kalam jara ruk k chal, kya haseen mausam aaya hai…
thodi der rook ja teri nok ke neeche mere dost ka naam aaya hai…

18. half of the problem in life are because we act with out thinking,,and
because we keep thinking without acting!...

19. duriyon se frak padta nahi, bat to dil ki najdikiyon se hoti hai
dosti to kuch khas aap jaise logo se hai. Warna mulakat to na jane kitno se hoti hai….

20. koi dost aisa banaya jaye, jiske asuon ko dil me chupaya jaye
rahe uska mera rista kuch aisa ki agar wo ho udas to mera bhi na muskuraya jaye….

21. roj kisi ka intjar rahata hai roj ye dil bekarar hota hai
kash k koi samaj pata ki chup rahane walon ko bhi kisise pyar hota hai….

22. rehne de aasma wamen ki talash kar,sab kuch yahin hai,na kahin aur talash kar.
Har aarzo puri ho to jine ka kya maja ? jeene ke liye kam ki talash kar….

23.. hamne khawaish ki aashiyane ki,chal padi aandhiyan jamane ki,
hamare gum ko duniya na samajh saki, kyun ki hame aadat thi muskurane ki…….

24.banta:-ye chaku kyu ubal rahe ho.
Santa:-suicide karne ke liye
Banta:-to chaku ubalne ki kya jarurat hai.
Santa:-taki septic na ho jaye…

25. har dua Kabul nahi hoti, har aarzu puri nahi hoti
jinke dil me aap jaise dost rahte ho,unke liye dhadkan bhi jaruri nahi hoti,

26. mom ki tarah pighalti hai jindgi,gamo ki agg me jalti hai jindgi,
thokarlage to gam nahi karma,thokar lagkar hi sambhlti hai jindgi…

27. 1st friend:- yar badi mushkil me hoon meri bibi mujhse 1 kiss ka 100 rs leti hai
2nd friend:- yar tu bahut lucky hai,doosron se to 500 rs leti hai!...

28. sunhari dhoop barsat ke bad,thodi se hasi har bat ke bad,
usi tarah ho mubarak aap ko ye naye din kal raat ke bad….

29. sone ke kitne bhi tukde kar lo uski kimat kam nahi hohi,
vaise hi aap jaise dost kitne bhi door ho aapki ahmiyat kam nahi hoti…

30. hum itne sweet nahi ki diabetes ho jaye,na itne salty ki bp bad jaye
na itne testy ki maja aa jaye,par itne kadwe bhi nahi ki yaad na aaye….

31. jab kabhi khyal aaya to aapka aaya,aankhe band ki to khwab aapka aaya,
socha yaad karlu khuda ko pal do pal, par hoth khule to naam aapa aaya..

32. hum mitti ke aashiyane banate gaye ,bana bana ke mitate gaye.
Hamen apna koi bana na saka, hum har kisi ko apna banate chale gaye….

33. hatho pe hasi, ankho main khushi,gum ka kahin naam na ho.
Kal ki subah le aaye aap ke liye itni khushi jiski kabhi shaam na ho.

34. suraj se achchha sitara koi nahi,jaisa hai rishta koi nahi.
Chaahe sari duniya me dhund lo, mujh jaisa pyara or aap jaisa aawara koi nahi.

35. ae zindgi yu mujhse daga na kar main jinda rahun ye dua na kar.
Koi dekhta hai use to hoti hai jalan, ae hawa tub hi use chua na kar.

36. kabhi to teri paikhon pe jhilmilaun main,tu intezar kare aur aaun main.
Mere dost samundar main le ja karfareb mat karma,kaho to kinare pe doob jaun main.

37. khuda ne agar ye rishta banaya na hota,ek dost ko duje se milaya na hota.
Zindgi ho jati bejaan,agar maine aap jaisa dost paya na hota…

38. hum apni dosti ko yadoon me sajayenge,dur rahkar bhi band ankho me najar ayenge.
Hum koi waqt nahi jo beet jayenge, jab yad karoge tab chale ayenge….

39. wo chand hai par aap se pyara to nahi,parwane ka shama ke bina gujara to nahi.
Is dil ne suni thi abhi mithhi si ek awaaz, kahin aapne hume pukara to nahin.

40. jiske pyaar ke liye dil tapadta hai, jiske intezaar mein dil tarsta hai.
Kya kahein is kambakht dil ko, jo apna hokar bhi kissi aur ke liye dhadkta hai.

41. kis kadar khub hai dillagi aapki, aaj bhi dil mein basi hai dosti aapki
jab bhi fursat ke lamhein mile hume dil ne mehsus ki hai kami aapki.

42. bade ajib hai ye zindagi ke ye raaste anjane mod par kucch log khaas ban jaate hain
milne ki khushi de ya na de bichdne ka gam zaroor de jaate hain.

43. dillagi doston ke naam hoti hai,didari doston ki shaan hoti hai
kahin bhi raho par rahoge dil mein,yahi sachi dosti ki pehchaan hito hai.

44. kaash koi exam ka insurance karwa deta, to har exam ke pehle premium bhar dete
pass hote to thik warna insurance claim karwa lete.

45. koi tumhe bole u r crazy don’t be angry koi abole u r stupid b cool
lekin koi bole u r smart, thappad mar dena sale ko majak ki bhi had hoti hai.

46. maliika sherawat decided to commit suicide, so she sleeped between railway tracks
spreading her legs open next day headlines,”rajdhaani missed”.

47. jeevan ki sabse kharab baat , kissi ki aankhon mein aansu hona aapki wajah se
aur sabse pyaari baat, kissi ki aankhon mein aansu hona aapke liye.

48. aapko bhul jaun namunkin si baat hai, aapko na ho yakin ye aur baat hai
jab tak rahegi saas tab tak rahoge yaad, ye saans tut jaaye to aur baat hai.

49. har farz dosti ka ada karega maun,jab hum hi na rahe to dosti karega kaun.
Ai khuda mere dost ko salamat rakhnawarna meri dosti ki dua karega kaun…

50. haste rahe aap hajaro ke beech,haste hai jaise phool baharo ke beech.
Roshan rahe aap duniya main aise ,jaise gagan hai chnd sitaro ke beech….

51. ladki patane ka naya tarika-chupke se uske piche ja kar usko darao
agar wo hasi to samjho pat gayi agar gussa kari to jor jor se chillao didi dar gai,didi dar gai…

52. kya mangu khuda se tumhe pane ke bad,kis ka karu intjar tere aane ke bad.
yo dosto ke lye jaan luta dete hai log.mughe malum hua tumhe dost banana ke bad..

53. wo na aye unki yaad aakar wafa kar gai, unse milne kit manna sukun tabah kar gai.
Ahat hui socha dua asar kar gai,darwaja khola to ddekha majak humse hawa kar gai…

54. us dil se pyar karo jo aapko dard de,par us dil ko dard no do jo tumse pyar kare.
Qki aap duniya ke liye ek ho,par kise ek ke liye sare duniya ho…

55. rishton ko man se jataya aapne,dur hote huye bhi rishta nibhaya aapne.
Kabhi bhool nahi paayenge hum aapko,kyokiyad rakhna hi sikhaya aapne..

56. bejan phoolko khushbu dena koi aapse sikhe,rote huye ko hasana koi aapse sikhe.
Dost banana to har koi janta hai,dost ko chuna lagana koi aapse sikhe..

57. taswer banana hai par koi aks nahi milta,dil ki kitab ko koi shaqs nahi milta.
Firte rahe hai wo zamane ki talash me,bus hamare liye hi unhe waqt nahi milta…

58. mujhe jala dena ya dafna dena,jab mar jau ek ghunt wiski mere whoton pe laga dena.
Main taj mahal to nahi mangta yaro,bas meri kbar par ek girl’s hostal khulwa dena..

59. wo dard hi kya jo aankho se beh jaye. Wo khushe hi kya jo hotho per reh jaye
kabhi to samjho meri khamoshi ko,wo baat hikya jo alfaj asani se keh jaye…

60. similarity brtween gandhiji and mallika sherawat.
Answer:-dono ne kapde tyag diye,ek ne desh ke liye dusri ne desh wasiyon ke liye..

61. fulon ki tariff to sab karte hai,badi mushkil se log kanto par gaur karte hai.
Mali to sirf naam ke hote hai, phulon ki hifajat to kante karte hai..

62. kash hum aapke mob. No. hote,har samay aapko yaad hote.
Bhale aap hame badal dete,par humse bichadne ki khabar to sabko dete…

63. zindgi ek raat hai.jisme na jane kitne khwaab hai.jo mil gaya wo apna hai.
Jo toot gaya wo sapna hai,so enjoy every moment…

64. chand ki dosti raat se subah tak,suraj ki dosti subah se shaam tak.
Par hamara pyar,phhli mulakat se aakhri saans tak….

65. a boy trying to propose a girl,finally proposed in a unique way:-
“kyat um tumhari chita ko aag lagane ka adhikar mujhe dogi”?

66. a man asked tu god:-100 saal aapke liye kya hai
god:-1sec
man:-100 crore rupies aap ke liye kya hai
god:-1 coin
man:- to mughe 1 coin de do
god:- 1 sec ruk ja.

67. kis dil sw teri wafa ki tariff maangu,kis mahobbatse teri judai ka dard mangu.
Mughe to dar hai tujhe khone ka,kis dua se tujhe pane ki dua maangu…

68. sajti rahe khushiyon ki mehfil,har khushi suhani rahe.
Aap jindgi mai itne khush raho ,ki har khushi aap tak aane ki diwani rahe.

69. karni hai khuda se ek gujarish teri dosti ke siwa koi bandgi na mile .
har janam me mile dost tere jaisa ,ya phie kabhi zindgi na mile…

70. samet lo sitaron ko hatho me apne,bahut dur tak rat hi rar hogi.
Musafir hai hum bhi or tum bhi,kabhi na kabhi-kahen na kahen to mulukat hogi…

71. bahut chaha magar bhula na sake khayalo me kisi aur ko la na sake.
Unhe dekh kar ansu to ponch liye par kisi or ko dekh kar muskura na sake..

72. pyar chupta nahi aankhe jhukane se, dil rukta nahi kisi ke samjhane se
hum use yaad karte he jeene k bahane se.kyu ki ruk jati hai dhadkan use bhul jane se..

73. bhool jane ka honsla na hua,door rah kar wo juda na huye.
Unse mil kar kisi aur se kya milte,koi dusra unke jaisa na hua..

74. pyar se pyari koi majburi nahi hoti,kami apno ki kabhi puri nahi hoti.
Dilon ka juda hona ek alag bat hai,najron se door hona koi majburi nahi hoti..

75. wade karte hai ,kasme khate hai,phir bhi na janr kyon lig saath chod jate hai.
Hame to taklif hoti hai phool yodne me bhi, na jane kaise log dil tod jate hai.

76. ret pe naam kabhi likhte nahe,ret pe likha naam kabhi tikta nahe.
Log khate hai ki hum patther dil hai,lekin pattharon pe likhe naam kabhi mitt e nahi..

77. there are too many of us praying 2god 2removethe mauntainsof difficulty.
What we really need to pray for is the courage to climb them…

78. dard-e-dil sahana aasan nahi hota,kimti chijo ka hqdar har koi nahi hota.
Ye khuda ki maharbani haiwarne tum jaise chindichor ke pas mobile nahi hota.

79. geeto ki sargam hai koi saaz nahi,labo ki khamoshi hai koi aawaj nahi.
Khuda ki ibadat haiye dosti apni, kisi rishte ki mohtaj nahi…

80. waqt ke panne palat kar phir wo hasen lamhe jine ko dil chahta hai..
kabhi muskuraya karte the sab dost milkar, aaj unhe saath dekhne ko jee chahta hai…

81. tanha kabhi khud ko Kbhi hone na dena,apno ko kabhi rone na dena.
Aap bahut khas ho hamare liye,is khyal ko apne se kabhi juda hone na dena..

82. hindi teacher ask:-kaal kitne prakar ke hote hai.
Sardar:- local call, std call,trunk call,isd call and “sastriy call”

83. sab kahte hai ache log mar kar sitare ban jate hai.magar sach to ye hai.
Ache sitare tutkar aap jaise ache dost ban jate hai….

84. chupke se chand ki roshni aapko chu jaye,dhire se hawa kuch keh jaye.
Dil se jise chahte ho mang lo khuda se,hum dua karenge ki aapko wo mil jaye..

85. koi cheej bewafai se badhkar kya kya hogi,gum e imtehan judai se badhkar kya hogi.
Kisi ko deni ho saja uske jawani me,toc.a. ki padhai se badkar kya hogi..

86. system of love:-
jan:-rose
feb:-propose
mar:-gift
april:-lift
may:-chating
jun:-dating
jul:-hugging
aug:-missing
sep:-drop
oct:-escape
nov:-rest
dec:-next

87. har sajda maqbool khuda ho jaye,teri duaon k sang rab ki raja ho jaye.
Mile aapko itni khushian ki tamam umer gam aapse khafa ho jaye…

88. dil tod diya mera aab laash bhi dafna dena,kafan na mile to aapne pyar ki chadar udha dena.
Koi jo puche kya rog tha use, najar jhuka ke mohabat bata dena….

89. har phool ko raat ki rani nahi kahte,har kisi se dil ki kahani nahi kahte.
Meri aankho ki nami se samajh le mere dost,har baat ko hum jubani nahi kahte..

90. kabhi kabhi ye dil jarur rota hai,jab koi apna mil kar najron se dur hota hai.
Khub roti hai ye aakhiyan,kyonki dil se jyada kasur inhi ka hota hai..

91. dil tuta to ek aawaj aaye,chir ke dekha to ek chij nikal aaye.
Socha kya hoga is khali dil me,lahu se dhokar dekha to aapki taswer najar aayi..

92. tinke tinke tufan me bikharte chale gaye,tanhai ki gahraion me utarte chale gaye.
Udte the jinke sahare aasmano me hum kabhi, ek ek karke sab bichadte chale gaye..

93. najre unhe dekhna chahe to akho ka kya kasoor,har waqt khushbu unki aaye to sanso ka kya kasoor.
Waise to sapne puch kar nahi aate par sapne unke aaye to rato ka kya kasoor..

94. phool such jatr hai ek waqt ke bad,log badal jate hai ek waqt ke bad.
Apni dosti bhi tutjayegi ek waqt ke bad,lekin wo waqt aayega meri maut ke bad..

95. ye raat itni tanha kyu hoti hai,kismet se sabko shikayat kyu hoti hai.
Kabhi jo mile khuda se punchenge usse,jise pa nahi sakte usise pyar kyu hota hai..

96. apno ne zahar ka jam de diya,gairo ne bewafa naam de diya.
Wo jo kahte the ki bhul na jana hamen,aaj unhone hi bhari mehfil me anjan keh diya..

97. apne dil ki sun afwahon se kam na le.
Mujhe yaad rakh,beshak naam na le
Tera waham hai ka main bhula hun tujhe
Meri koi saans nahi jot era naam na le..

98. lahar ko pyar tha kinare se,par uski shadi ho gai sagar se.
kinare ki prit lahron ko khich k apne paas le aati hai
badnam na ho mohobat uski isliye wo lot jati hai..

99. do pyar karne walo se log jalte hai,tarah tarah ki baaten karte hai.
Jab chand or suraj ka hota hai khul kar Milan,to use bhi log “GRAHAN” kehte hai…

100. chaho tum jise chahat se jyada,sapne dekho jiske nind se jyada.
Mango tum jise mannaty se jytada, khuda kare wobhi tumse pyar kare apni sanso se jyada..

101. the sweetest way to propose-“excuse me,do u have a band aid because
I scraped my knee whn I fill in love with you”..

102. yaad aaye mujhe jab aapki,dil ne mehsus ki kami aapki.
Yeh aarzu nahi ki kisi ko sataye hum,bas itna kafi hai kabhi kabhi yaad aye hum..

103. who mulakat kuch aduri si lagi,pas ho kar bhi duri si lagi.
Hoto pe hasi aur aakho me nami si lagi,pahili bar kisi ki dosti jaruri se lagi..

104. naam:-don
father:-gangster
bhai:-munnabhai
pata:-36 china town
guru:-bluffmaster
dushman:-sarkar
murder:-ab tak 56
sms bhejte rahena warna;-57

105. hasrat hai aapko sachcha dost banana ki,khwahish nahi kuch pane ki.
Shikwa hamse nahi khuda se karo,kya jarurat thi aapko itna achcha banane ki.

106. do not take life too seriously &always find time to laugh because
laughter not only adds years to your life, but adds more life to your years . have a nise day

107. hamari dua hai aapko,krish ka josh,umraojaan ka pyar,babul kja dular,munnabhai ki jhappi,
dhoom ki bike,vivah ki life,aur don ki lifemile..

108. muskura ke jeena jindgi hai,muskurake gum bhulana jindgi hai,
jitkar hase to kya hase, sabkuch har kar muskurana jindgi hai.

109. gujri hui jindgi ko kabhi yaad na kar,taqder me jo nahi likha hai uski fariyad na kar.
Jo hoga wo hokar hi rahega,tu uski fikr me apni hasi barbad na kar.

110. aapko har safar ka kinara milega,chamakta hua har sitara milega.
Aayegi chahre pe pyari si raunak, message aapko jab hamara milega..

111. jis pal khuda ne aapko banaya hoga.hajaro baar dekha hoga.
Lakho baar nihara hoga,sir khujaya hoga,phir socha hoga”abe oye ye kya ban gaya”

112. na jane ye najar kyu udas rahti hai,na jane ise kiss ki takash rahti hai.
Ye jaan kar ki wo kismet me nahi hai,phir bhi use pane ki aas rehti hai.

113. tum na mano magar hakikat hai dosti insane ki chahat hai.
Kisi din aao hamari mehfil me ek ache weter ki jarurat hai.

114. dard ko iss zuban ki dhelij pe laya na karo,dil ki halat kisi ko bataya na karo.
Log mutthi me namak liye ghumte hai, zakhm apne kisi ko dikhaya na karo.

115. viswas ki ek dori hai pyar, beteb dil ki majburi hai pyar.
Na mano ti kuch bhi nahi,aur mano to khuda ki bhi majburi hai pyar.

116. haathon main taq at hai to tajmahal ko hilakar dekh”varna aa baith” do pag mar
aur tajmahal ko hilta hua dekh…CHEERS

117. Eleanor Roosevelt:- he who loses money,loses much:he who loses a friend,
loses much more:he who loses faith,loses all…..

118. fact:a girl may not help to get a lot of money
but money always helps to get a lot of girls
so love money,not girls

119. dil k eek kone se ek aawaj aati hai,hame aapki har pal yaad aati hai
dil puchta hai har pal humse,jinhe hum yaad karte hai,
kya unhe bhi hamari yaad aati hai..

120. chandi ki dowar na todi,pyar bhara dil tod diya
chand chillar paiso ke liye aapne hume sms karma chodh diya..

121. haal-e dil kuch is tarah bayan karte hai, yaad tumhe din main hajar baar karte hai,
jo na aaye kabhi sms tumhara to purana padke hi khush ho jaya karte hai..

122. sab k chahne se har baat nahi hoti, thode se andhere se raat nahi hoti,
jo jindgi main sabse jayada pasand hai, kya kare bas usise mulakat nahi hoti..

123. khuli jo aankhe to manjar ajib tha, dard tha magar wo dil ke karib tha,
jinhe hum dhundte the hathon ki lakiron main pata chala wo kisi aur ka naseb tha..

124. ek jam wafa ke naam, ek jam ulfat ke naam, ek jam mohabbt ke naam,
ek jam dushmano ke naam, aur aur pura KHAMBA apni dosti ke naam..

125. nayi subah ka rangin najara, matwali hawa layi paighaam humaara,
jaago muskurao taiyar ho jao,khushiyon se bhara hai aajka din tumhara..

126. ek request kabhi udas mat hona,
ek suggest- jo pal dukh de use bhul jana
ek aarju- khushi ke palon ko sanjo ke rakhna
AUR ek tamanna- hamesha muskurate rahna..

127. f:-field of love
r:-root of joy
i:-island of good
e:-end of sarrow
n:-name of hoop
d:- door of understsnding
that is friend.like you

128. l.l.b.:- life long bachelor
l.i.c. :-love is compulsory
collage :- come on lets love each girls everyday
wife :- with out investment full injoyment.

129. kya tum ped chad sakte ho,kya yum sanjiwani buti la sakte ho,
kyat um sina chir ke dikha sakte ho,nahi na bete sirf shakl Bandar jasi hone se koi hanuman nahi hota..

130. mere pyar ki wo hadd puchte hai, dil me kitni jagah hai te puchte hai,
chahte hai hum sirf unhi ko kyu itna,iski bhi wo humse wajah puchte hai..

131. wo apno ki mehfil, wo muskurate pal,dil se juda hai apna bita hua kal,
kabhi gujarti thi jindgi waqt bitine main. Aaj waqt gujar jate hai un yaadon ko jutane main..

132. ye rishte bhi ajib hote hai,sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
rahte hai jo nigahon se dur,wo hi dil ke karib hote hai..

133. teri dosti ne zindgi ko ek maksad diya hai, har such dukh me maine tera ehasas kiya hai
jab bhi japke palke teri to samaj lena, is dost ne tumhe dil se yaad kiya hai..

134. A boy propose a girl in a new way:
tu oudine ki chatni main paneer thica
tu oudine ki chatni main paneer thica
ban ja tu meri rakhi sawant main tera mika..

135. change this no. 4156831968 intu t9 launguage & reply that..

136. kitna bebas hai insane kismet ke aage,kitne door hai sapne haqikat kq aage,
koi ruki hui dhadkan se puche, kitna tadpta hai dil mohbbat kea age..

137. 9 Arab 89 crore 04 lakh 73 thousend 313 only.
Yr don ka bank balance nahi hai to kya hua,apna mobile no to hai.

138. Is Kadar hamari dosti ka imtehan na lijiye, kyu ho humse khafa ye bayan kijiye.
Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gai koi khata, yu yaad na kar ke saza to mat dijiye..

139. Hum dosto ko bhulate nahi hai, magar ye baat jatate nahi hai,
Dosto ko rakhte hai sada dil ke pas, hum bhulane ke liye dost banate nahi..

140. Najro se dur huye to kya hua,aankhe band karke dekho koi tumhare pas hai,
raste alag huye to kya hua,mudkar dekho kisike kadmo k nishan tumhare saath hai..

141. hum ruthe to kiske bhrose, kaun hai jo hame manane aayega,
ho sakta hai taras aa bhi jaye aapko, par dil kaha se lau jo aapse ruth paayega..

142. chahat hai kisi ki chahat ko pane ki,chahat hai chahat kko ajmane ki,
wo chahe ya na chahe hume,par chahat hai kisiki chahat me mit jane ki..

143. kisi ke pas kuch na ho to hasti hai duniya,kisi ke pas sab kuch ho to jalti hai duniya.
OR hamare pas hai aap jaisa dost jis ke liye tarasti hai duniya..

144. kisi na kisi pe to aitbar ho jata hai,ajnabi koi shakhs yaar ho jata hai,
khubiyon se hi nahi hoti mohabbat, kamiyon se bhi aksar pyar ho jata hai.

145. dilki aawaj se nagme badal jate hai,sath na de to apne badal jate hai,
palke bhi jara sambhalke jhapakna kyuki palke jhapakne se aksar sapne badal jate hai.

146. dard aur gum se aap anjan rahe, khushiyon se aapki pahchan rahe,
meri dil ki ye dua hai aapke chehre pe hamesha muskan rahe.

147. chand taron ka noor aap pe bares, hum aapki chahat me tarse,
aapki zindgi me aaye itni khushiyan, ki aap gum pane ko tarse..

148. gum ki aahat bhi na aaye tere dar pe, pyar ke samundar ka tub hi ek kinara ho,
kabhi bhul se jo tapke teri aankhon se moti,thame wahi jo tujhe sabse pyara ho..

149. zindgi hazar nahi sirf ek chahiye, dukh such me saath de wo yaar chahiye,
hum kisi ko bhulte nahi, lekin hame yaad rakhe aisa yaar chahiye..

150. aisa nahi ki aapki yaad aati nahi,khata sirf itni ki hum batate nahi,
aap anmol hai hamare liye samajhte ho aap isliye hum jatate nahi.

151. dhati raat ka khula ahsas hai, mere dil main teri jagah kuch khas hai,
tu nahi yahan mughe malum hai,par ye khushbu kehti hai kit u yahi aas pas hai..

152. one of the best message I ever reed..
hatho ki lakiron pe kabhi vishwas na karma,kyuki taqder to unki bhi hoti jinke hath nahi hote…

153. yakin pe yakin dilate hai dost, rah chalet ko mamu banate hai log,
aharbat bol kar pani pilate hai dost, par kuch bhi kaho bahut yaad aate hai dost..

154. najar mila ken ajar chura na lena, dost banake dushman bana mat dena,
mana ki dur hai aapse isi baat ka bahana bana kar bhula na dena..

155. begano se dosti ki gunjaish nahi hoti, maut ke baad koi khwaish nahi hoti,
shayad koi pyar bhara dil tuta hoga, warna march ke mahine main barish nahi hoti..

156. wo jate huye kah gaye ki ab to hum sirf tumhare khwabon main aayenge,
koi kahde unse k wo 1 bar waada kar le ,hum jingi bhar ke liye so jaayenge..

157. palko ke kinare jo humnebhigoye hi nahi, wo sochate hain ki hum roye hi nahi,
duniya puchte hai hamse khwabo main kaise dikhte ho, aur hum hai ki barson se soye hi nahi.

158. bin gamon ki khushi aduri hoti hai,bin aansuon ke hasi adhuri hoti hai.
Isliye gum aur khushi & aansu aurb hasi har pal saath hoti hai..

159. ek pal ki ye bat nahi , do pal ka ye saath nahi, waise to zindgi ek safar se ban gai hai.
Par wo safar hi kya jisme aap jaisa dost nahi.

160. manjil ki talash main nikle hain hum sabhi, sab ki manjil ek ho ye mumkin nahi,
aise hi kisi mod par bichad jaye jo kabhi,ye mat samajhna k apke saath hum nahi,

161. roshni na ho to diya jalta hai, shaman a ho to parwana jalta hai.
Rishte na ho to dil jalta hai, aur aap jaisa dost hoto jamana jalta hai.

162. har phul khushbudar nahi hota,har patthar chamakdar nahi hota,
dost to milte hain hajaron jamane main, par har dost wafadar nahi hota.

163. kal fursat na mili to kya hoga, itni mohbbat na mili to kya hoga,
roj bolte ho kal baat karenge, agar kal hamari ankh na khuli to kya hoga

164. zakhm itne gahre hai ki izhar kya Karen, hum khud nishana ban gaye vaar kya Karen,
mar gaye hum magar khuli rah gai aankhen, ab is se zyada unka intzar kya Karen,..

165. karoge yaad to har baat yaad aayegi, suhane waqt ki har gunj tther jayrgi,
taklash karoge jo humse behtar dost koi, nigah dur tak jakar laut aayegi..

166. “golden words” kabhi zindgi main kisi ke liye mat rona
kyu ki who tumhare aansuon ke kabil nahi hoga “or”
who jo is kabil hoga who aapki aankhon main aansu nahi aane dega..

167. ye ho nahi sakta ki mughe teri yaad na aaye,bhul ke bhi aapko bhulau wo ehsas na aye,
aap bhulaye to aap pe koi aanch na aaye, main bhulaun to mughe agli saans na aaye..

168. abhi nah amen uthao yaron, hume aas hai unke aane ki,
chehre pen a kafan girao yarro unhe aadat hai hame dekh muskurane ki..

169. dil todna hamari aadat nahi,dil hum kisi ka dukhate nahi,
bharosa rakhna hamari dosti pe, dil main basake hum kisi ko bhulate nahi..

170. tumhari yaad dil se jane na denge,tumhare jaisa dost khone na denge.
Sharafat se contect main rahna, warna bahut marenge aur rone bhi nahi denge..

171. ye aarzu nahi ki kisi ko bhulaye hum, na tamnna kee ki kisi ko rulaye hum,
par dua hai us rab se, jisko itna yaad karte hai usko iutna hi yaad aaye hum..

172. apni bebasi par aaj rona aaya, dusron ne kya mughe apno ne aajmaya,
humne har kisi ki tanhai dur ki, lekin khud ko har mod par akela paaya..

173. zindgi zakhmo se bhari hai,waqt ko marham banana seekh lo,
harna to hai hi ek din zindgi se 1 din, filhal zindgi se jeetna seekh lo..

174. mushkilon se kabhi mulakat na ho,udas baitho kabhi aisi koi baat na ho,
duua hai mehfilon se saje jindgi aapki, bus pukar lene agar koi saath na ho,

175. main najar se pi raha hun sama badal na jaye,
na jhukao tum nigahen kahin raat dhal na jaye.

176. har jazbe ko juban nahi milti, har aarzu ko duua nahi milti,
haste raho to duniya rahti hai saath, aansuo ko to aankho main bhi panah nahi milti.

177. life is like a chemistry. Concentrate your friend, dilute your enemies,
dissolve your worries, evaporate your sorrows , then you will get a crystal of happiness..

178. yadonke is bhawar main ek pal mera ho, phulon ke is chaman main ek gul mera ho,
khudakareki jab aap yaad kare aapno ko ,to un aapno main ek naam mera bhi ho,

179. aal do log aapke bare main puch rahe the maine aapka mobile number or
pata de diya hai vo dono aapse jald he milenge.unke naam hai “kamyabi or khushi”

180. likhne se pahle salam karte hain dard e dil se paigam karte hain,
ye mat samajhana ki hum aapko bhul gaye hain, yaad to hum aapko subah sham karte hai..

181. aankho main arman diya karte hai, hum sabki neend chura liya karte hai,
ab se jab jab aapki palke japkegi, samajh lena tab tab hum aapko yaad karte hai..

182. tarste the jo milne ko humse kabhi, aaj vo kyon hamare ssye se katrate hai,
ham bhi wahi hai dil bhi wahi hai, na jane kyon log badal jate hai..

183. yaado ka ye karwa hamesha rahega, door hote hue bhi pyar wahi rahega,
maaf karma mil nahi pate aapse magar, yakeen rakhna in aankho main intejar wahi rahega..

184. ajeeb lagti hai sham kabhi kabhi,zindgi lagti hai bejan kabhi kabhi,
samaj aate to hamen bhi batana ki kyu karti hai yaade pareshan kabhi kabhi.

185. MARWADI MEANS
m :- multitalantated
a :- all rounder
r :- rich
w :- well mannered
a :- ambitious
d :- down 2 earth
I :- Indian

186. jite jo baji to mashur ho gaye, aapki hasi main hase to aansuo se dur ho gaye
bas ek aap jaise dost ki badolat hum kaanch se kohinur ho gaye.

187. meri yaad aaye =yaad karo
zyada aaye =sms karo
or zyada aaye = phone karo
or bhi zyada aaye =milo
usse bhi zyada aaye =plz jhooth bolna band karo.

188. chand ki dosti raat se subh tak, suraj ki dosti subh se sham tak,
par hamari dosti, pahli mulakat se aakhri saans tak…..

189. two good lines of life :-
1. ankho main aansu hoto pe dard soya hai
2. dekhne wala kya jane ki hasne wala kitna roya hai….

190. meaning of college;-
c : come
o : on
l : lets
l : love
e : each
g : girl
e : equally


191. lakh chahoge bhul nahi paoge, humm se juda hokar ji nahi paoge,
chahe kitni bhi khushiya luta do hum par,hamari dosti ko overtake nahe kar paoge…

192. hamari dosti ko na juda karna, zindgi main kabhi ruswa na karma.
Kai roz beet gaye tumse baten kiye,zindgi na beet jaye ye duwa karma.

193. humse dur jaoge kaise, dil se apne nikal paoge kaise,
hum wo khushbu hain jo aapki saanso main baste hai,
bhala aapni sanso ko rok paaoge kaise.

194. royegi ye aankhen muskurane ke bad, aayegiu raat din dhal jane ke bad,
kabhi ruthna na meri jaan, shayad ye zindgi na rahe tere ruth jane ke bad..

195. aapse dur hum kaise reh pate, dil se aapko kaise bhulate,
kash aap sans ki jagah aankh main base hote,
khud ko bhi dekhte to aap hi najar aate…

196. jis din band ho jayegi hamari ye aankhe, us dil ki aankho main aansu aa jayenge,
jo kehte he bahut bolte he hum, wo m\hamari aawaj sunne ke liye taras jayenge…

197. na shikwa na gila rahe aapse , tamanna hai bus ek silsila rahe aapse,
has kar fhir rona nahi chahte, pane ki chah nahi bus aapko khona nahi chahte…

198. dil ne kaha aankh se “ dekha karo kam,kyuki dekhte ho to tadapte hai hum”
aankh ne kaha dil se “ socha karo kum kyuki sochte ho tum rote hai hum”

199. ye dua hai aapki zindgi sawar jaye, har najar main bus pyar najar aaye,
a dost tughe talash ho jiski, khuda kare wo khud teri talash main aaye..

200. unhe pyar karma nahi aata or hame pyar ke alawa kuch nahi aata.
Jine ke sirf do raste hain 1 par chalna unhe nahi aata or 1 par hamen..

201. suraj paas ho na ho roshani hamesha paas hoti hai,
chand paas ho na ho chandni hamesha paas hoti hai,
waise hi aap paas ho na ho aapki yaade hamesha paas hoti hai….

202. judai aapki rulati rahegi, yaad aapki aate rahegi,pal pal jaan jate rahegi,
jab tak hai jism main jan har ssans dosti nibhati rahegi…

203. naino main base hai jara khayal rakhna,kisi kam se hi sahi par yaad karma.
Mujhe to aadat hai aapko yaad karne ki,agar hichkiyan zyada aaye to maaf karma..

204. na jane us par itna yakin kyu hai? Khayal uska itna hasin kyu hai?
Suna hai pyar ka dard meetha hota hai,fir aankhon se nikla aansu namkin kyu hai?

205. raat ko meri aankh se 1 aansu nikal aaya. Maine pucha tu bahar kyu aaya?
To usne bataya koi in ankhon main itna hai samaya ki main chah kar bhi jagah nahi bana paya…

206. baateen kaeke rula na dijiyega, u chup reh ke saja na dijiyega,
na de sake khushe,to gum hi sahi,par dost bana kar bhula na dijiyega…

207. dil ne har waqt aapka didar manga,jaise amawas ne chand manga,
ruth gaye khuda bhi humse jab humne apni dua main b aapki khushiyon ka sansar manga..

208. marne par hamen jannt mile na mile,ye hawa fiza mile na mile,
sms karne main kanjuse mat kar mere dost,kya pata jannat main network mile na mile…

209. kisi ki yadon ne pagal bana rakha hai, kahi mar na jau kafan sila rakha hai,
jane se pahle dil nikal lena, kahi jal na jaye jise dil main basa rakha hai..

210. aapki hansi badi pyari lagti hai, aapki har khushi hamen hamari lagti hai,
kabhi dur na karna khud se hamain, jaan se bhi pyari aapki yaari lagti hai..

211. ek sham aati hai aapki yaad lekar, ek sham jati hai aapki yaad lekar,
hamain to us sham ka intejar hai jo aaye aapko lekar…

212. hatho ki juban aansu kehte hai chup rahte hai phir bhi behte hai
aankho ki kismet to dekheye : ye jinke liye behte hai wo aankho main hi rehte hai..

213. marne ke bad hamare bnaseb main jannat ho na ho, ye hawa-e-fiza ho na ho,
yar zinda hun tab tak sms bhezta hun,kya pata hamari kabra par covrage ho na ho..

214. koi due ho kitna hi,kya gum hai? Magar wo apna hai ye kya kum hai,
chahe na ho mulakat kya gum hai? Yaad humain wo karle ek bar, ye kya kum hai..

215. har aarzo puri nahi hoti,dosto main kabhi duri nahi hoti.
Jinke dilon main aap jaise dost rehte ho, unke liye to dhadkann bhi jaruri nahi hiti.

216. na mile kisi ka sath to hame yaad karma, tanhai ho to hamain mehsus karma.
Khushiya batne ke liye dost hajar rakhna, gum batne ho to hume yaad karma..

217. jaha har sar jhuk jaye wahi mandir hai,jaha har nadi mil jaye wahi samundar hai.
Is jindgi main dukh to bahut hai, jo har dukh ko jit jaye wahi sikandar hai..

218. tarasti najro ne har pal aapka didar manga, jaise amawas ne har raat chand manga,
ruth gaye khuda bhi humse, jab har dua main humne aapka saath manga..

219. dost ki galiyon main koi gum na ho, hamari ye dosti kabhi kam na ho,
bus yahi hai dua tum khus raho,kya pata yeh sms bhejne wala kal ho na ho..

220. rishte kaanch ke bane hote hai tutne par chubhte hai, hatheli par sambhal kar rakhna.
Kyuki ye “tutne” main “pal”aur judne main “barso” lag jate hai.

221. sabhi ko sab kuch nahi milta, nadi ki har lahar ko sahil nahi milta,
yeh dil walon ki duniya hai dost kisi se dil nahi milta to koi dil se nahi milta.

222. aap jaise dost hote nahi sabhi ke liye, ye daulat hai kisi kisi ke liye.
Koi jalaye shama to bujha dijiye, aap kya kam hai roshani ke liye.

223. waqt to hum bhula chuke hai, muqadar bhi nab hula de,
pyar to hum isliye nahi karte, kyuki dar hai koi phise rola na de.

224. hamare aansu poch kar wo muskurate hai, isi ada se wo dil ko chu jate hai.
Haath unka chu jaye haamare chehre ko,isi umeed se khud ko rulate hai.

225. karne khuda se kuch fariyad baki hai, hame unse kehni kuch bathai baki.
Maut aayegi ti keh denge khuda se.. ruk abhi 1 dost se mulakat baki hai..

226. phool aisa ho bag ko khushbu se bhar de,hamsafar aisa ho jo andheron ko roshan kar de,
dost aisa ho jo jindgi ko khushi aur mobile ko sms se bhar de..

227. na khairiyat koi na koi paigam aaya hai, jo chaha nahi wahi anjam aaya hai.
Kya dost ne bhula di dosti meri? Aaj na dua koi na salam aaya hai..

228. wafao me meri itna asar to aaye, jinhe dhundti hai najar won ajar to aaye.
Hum aa jayenge palak jhukne se pehle, aapne yaad kiya ye khabar to aaye..

229. hum aapki dosti ko ehsan mante hai,use nibhana apna intehan mante hai,
hum wo nahi jo dosti main jan de,kyu ki hum aapko hi aapni jan mante hai.

230. kinaro ko pyar tha lehro se, par uski shadi ho gai sagar se,
kinaro ki prit lehronko khich lati hai,par badnam na ho mohbbat isliye wo laut jati hai…

231. subh teri sham meri ho,din tera-rat meri ho,hasi teri-udasi meri ho,
aur jab maut aaye to dost kabar teri or usme lash meri ho,

232. kya hai zindgi ?
dekho to khwab hai zindgi, padho to kitab hai zindgi,suno to gyan hai zindgi,
par haste raho to aasan hai zindgi….so keep smiling.

233. jab yaado ka dhua aasman par chata hai, to humko bhi oi yad aata hai
mana ki milna bahut kam ho pata hai,fir bhi dil aapko bhul nahi pata hai..

234. khudko jamen tujhe aasman kehte hai,teri khushi ko apna arman kehte hai.
Kehne wale tumhe mera dost kehte hai,par hum to tumhe apni jan kehte hai.

235. phool ki tarah haste raho to hum khush hai, dil khol kar huck jatate raho to hum khush hai.
Ye nahi kehte ki bat karo bus yaad karte raho hum khush hai..

236. hum hawa nahe jo kho jayenge, hum waqt nahi jo gujar jayenge,
hum mausam nahi jo badal jayenge,hum to aansu hai jo khushe or gum dono main najar aayenge

JOKES !!!

1. a boy says to girl:tute hua dil se pyar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl says:tuti hui chappal se pitega ya chappal tutne tak pitega.

2. ek ghar me do pagal rahte the,ek ka naam tha “tu pagal”or dusre ka “main pagal”
“tu pagal”ghar se bahar chala gaya to ghar me kaun bacha?haso mat kaho.

3. dil me basi hai dosti teri,aankho main basi hai tasvir teri.
Jab bhi yaad aati hai teri,hum dekhte hai tom &jerry!..

4. a sardar invested two laks in a business and suffered huge loss
what was the business? He opened a salon in panjab.”bolo tararara”

5. pati patni ki jabardast ladai ke bad patni bhagwan se boli
agar ye galat hai to inhy utha lo agar main galat hun to mughe vidhwa bana do.

6. na jane wo humse kya chupati thi,kuchh tha uske hotho pe magar na jane q sharmati thi.
Jab humne munh khulwa ke dkha to pata chala, Sali manikchand khati thi..

7. ek sharabi roj shiv mandir pe sir tekta tha,ek din pujari ne shiv murti ki jagah pe ganesh ji ki murti rakh di.
Sharabi aaya dekha or bola :-chotu papa se bolna main aaya tha.

8. sardar ka radio kharab ho gaya, usne khol ke dekha to andar ek chuha mara mila.
Ye dekh kar sardar bola ye lo chalega kaise? singar hi mara pada hai.

9. machhar marne ka naya tarika,pahale ek jinda machhar pakde,phir usey jamin pe litaye,
phir use gudgudi lagayen,or jaise hi wo muh khole use allout pila de.

10.sardar look himself in mirror & said isko kahi dekha hai.then he said yaad aaya.
Yeto wahi kamina hai jo meri shadi ki album main meri bb ke saath tha..

11. ek ladki ne coin dal kar apna wajan kiya 58kg,sandal uteri 56kg,jacket uteri 53kg,
fir dupata uteri 52kg,or coin khatm.ek bhikari bola:-tu chalu rakh coin main dalta hun.

12. bapu ne bataya ki always remain faithfull to wife
whose wife ?
ye bapu ne bataya nahi!!
Lage raho..

13. sardar standing on a platform suddenly jumps on railway track.man says sardar ji mar jaoge.
Sardar:-marega to tu suna nahi train platform pea a rahi hai…

14. new ramayan
rawan cycle leke sita ko lene jata hai,
sita ram ko mobile karti hai ki rawan mughe lene aaya hai
ram:-chinta mat kar rawan ko double sit nahi aati…

15. 1980 girl:-maa main jeans pahnugi
maa:-nahi beti log kya kahenge.
2007 girl:-maa main mini skirt pehnugi.
Maa:-pahen le beti kuch to pahen.

16. sardar went for an interview
interviewer:-what is your date of birth
sardar:- 1st april
interviewer:-which year?
Sardar:-ullu ke patthe every year.

17. Patient:- mujhe bimari hai.
Na khaun to bhuk lagti hai, na sou to neend aati hai,zyaada kaam karke thak jata hun.
Doctor:- beta sari raat dhup me baitho thik ho jaoge.

18. Court me divorce ke time husband:-main apni biwi se khush nahi hun.
Wife:- haramkhor sara maholla khush hai,tu kahin ka nawab hai

19. teacher to sardar:-is it posibal that a person name &surname both r same
sardar:-ya, if lara dutta marries brian lara ,she become lara lara !bolo tararara….

20. masterji :-kal school kyun nahi aaye
santa :- gir gaya tha sir,
masterji :- kahan gire or kahan lagi,
santa :- takiye pe gira or aankh lag gai…

21. ek ladka exam me fail ho gaya
uske papa bole:-sharm nahi aati fail ho gaya,samne wali ladki ko dekh
bete :- usiko to dekhne ka natija hai…..

22. taxi driver :- sardar ji petrol khatm ho gaya gadi aage nahe ja sakti.
Sardar :- koi baat nahi reverse lelo vapas ghar challenge..

23. 70yr old man :-main tumhare liye chand tare tod launga.
Wife:- madarchod daton se roti nahi todi jati,gaand se akhrot todne ki baat karta hai..

24. frog :-kya sardar ko dimag hota hai
sardar :- yes
frog :-nahi hota {frog jump in the water}
sardar :- isme suicide karne wali kya baat hai main to majak kar raha tha.

25. Q:-how was nisaar bhai born ?
Ans :- jawani jan-e-man,haseen dil ruba,mile to dil jawan,”nisar ho gaya”..

26. jab tum haste ho to aisa lagta hai ki insane pahle Bandar tha.
Dekho gussa mat karo.qki jab tum gussa karte ho,
Lahta hai ki insane aaj bhi bander hai..

27. circuit:-bhai Gandhi jayanti ke bare main batao,
munnabhai :-gandhi mast solid aadmi tha,lekin ma kasam,
apun nahi janta ki”jayanti”ke saath uska kya lafda tha..

28. mohabaat ek so ho to bholapan.do se ho to apna pan.3 se ho to deewanapan.
4 se ho to pagalpan aur phir bhi continue raha to kamina pan.samjha kya..

29. tuje ajeeb baat bataun !!
murgi ne anda diya !
ajeeb hai na !
nahi !
to tu deke dekh !

30. arz kiya hai.. jise kabutar samjha wo kawwa nikla,dosti ke naam par hawwa nikla,
jo roka karte the hamen sharab pine se, aaj unhi ke jeb se pawwa nikla..

31. welcome to dosti care center
khushi ke liye 1 dabayen
muskan ke liye 2 dabayen
hamari dosti ke liye 3 dabayn
hum se picha chudane k liye apna gala dabayn…

32. jeewan ki ha eek situation me hamare pas hamrsha 2 raste hote hain.
Bhaag lo {run away} ya bhaag lo {participate}

33. aahat se koi aaye to lagta hai tum ho
hawa koi lahraye to lagta hai tum ho,
ab tum hi batao kyat um kisi bhoot se kam ho..

34. aadmi ki car se popat takra kar behosh ho gaya
aadmi popat ko ghar le gaya pijre main rakha or khana diya.
Popat jag ke bola aaila jail wo driwer mar gaya kya?

35. yamraj took man 2 hell there he saw gandhiji dansing with bipasha..
man:- gandhiji ki saja itni majedar kyu ?
yamraj :- sazaa to bipasha ko mili hai….

36. munna bhai :- how to distinguish between murga & murgi
circuit :-bole to simple hai bhai patthar maro agar bhaga to murga aur bhagi to murgi..

37. sweet porm for you.
Eat with butter
Cut with cutter
Warm with sweater
When you forget me,u will definetly fall in gutter..

38. chand par aapka naam likhne ko ji chahta hai
chand par aapka naam likhne ko ji chahta hai,
magar kya karun kambakhat ye khayal din main aata hai..

39. shayri from sardar;jis hospital ke hum doctor hai meri patni wahan ki nurce hai,
kya ajib julmm sahna padta hai,apni hi biwi ko sister kahna padta hai..

40. na jaane kab koi tara toot jate.na jane kab koi aansu aankh se choot jaye,
kuch pal mere saath has lo , na jane kab aapke daant toot jaye.

41. boy :- come into my heart
girl ;-sandel nikalun kya ?
boy :-hat pagli mera dil koi mandir thodi hai,bindas pahin kar aaja..

42. What is the relationship between coffee shop & wine shop?
Most of the lpve stories start at coffee shop and end at wine shop..!!

43. karj rishte ka ada karega kaun, dost na ha to pyar karega kaun,
ae khuda mere dost ko salamat rakhna, warna meri shadi main daru pi ke danse karega kaun..

44. ishq karne se pahle uska anjaam dekh lo,
ishq karne se pshle uska anjaam dekh lo,
agar phir bhisamajh na aaye to “tere naam”dekh lo..

45. teacher :- bolo a for apple
student :- [dhire se] a for apple
teacher :- jor se bolo
student ;- JAI MATA DI..

46. din me deep jalane se kya hoga, raakh main aag lagane se kya hoga,
aapko hai kabj is liye aati nahi tatti, bina matlab ka zor lagane se kya hoga..

47. munnabhai :- yr salli govt drinking or drawing saath saath kyu nahi karne deti,
circuit ;- simpal hai bhai. Wo speed braker aane par glass gir sakta hai na..

48. teacher :- osama ki 5 biwi or 20 bacche hai
lalu ki 1 biwi or 9 bacche hai to batao kaun achha
student :-score to osama ka achha hai par strike rate lalu ka..

49. khuda se cycle manga to bike diya,ghar manga to bangle diya.
Phone manga to mobile diya,dost manga to tumhe diya.
Khuda ne aakhri baar dhokha kyu diya..

50. baap :-beta is baar tughe exam main 90% lana hai kuch bhi kar.
Beta :- nahi pita ji main is baar 100% launga
Baap :- kyu majak kar rahe ho.
Beta :-shuru kisne kiya.

51. Girl :- aisa khat likh sajna meri umer beetjaye padhne main,
boy:- “}{:{_}(&^ ::{P=p}(*(*&*&Hkpojbj :KPI(**(&*&%$%#%$ kpoip IJPOK:kjhk
LUIOUip:”:”{“{O&^$* LPOPO :”L {O_()(“ KP*&^ L {LP}L: LPOI..
Le padh

52. munnabhai :- e circuit bapu bole to Gandhi ji kapde kyuon nahi pahnte the?
Circuit :-kya bole re bhai wo bole to bapu bhi us samay ke salman khan the..

53. chinti or hathi ka prem vivah hua, agle din hathi mar gaya.chinti boli:-
wah mohbbat ek din ka pyar ab saari umer beet jayegi kabar khodne main..

54. amitabh & salman in “deewar”3 main
salman :- aaj mere pas 14 cars,18 bikes, 4 bangle, 3 farm house hai tumhare pas kya hai.
Amitabh :- mere bete k pas tera mal hai.

55. aap kutte, gadhe ,suwar,lomdi,kauwe,aur kabutar jaise hai
mera matlab wafadar,mehanati active, chalak,smart aur shant hai.

56. apne roop pae itna ghurur na kar,sab 2 din ki masti hai,
tera husn bhi tab tak kayam hai jab tak “fair & lovely” hai…

57. a real fact :-
jinki yaad tumhe khushi k lamhon me aaye,samjho kit um unhe pyar karte ho,
or jo gum main yaad aaye,jan lo ki wo tumhe pyar karte hai…

58. kashis honi chahiye kisi ko yaad karne ki lamhe to apne aap mil jate hai,
tamanna honi chahiye kisi se milne ki bahane to khud he mil jate hai.

59. parwah karo uski jo aapki parwah kare, zindgi main jo kabhi ruswa na kare,
jaan ban kar utar jao uski jaan main, jaan se bhi jyada jo aapko pyar kare…

60. sawal pani ka nahi pyas ka hai,sawal maut ka nahi saans ka hai,
dost to duniya main bahut hai magar sawal dosti ka nahi vishawaas ka hai..

61.ghar walon ka kahna hai ki “dil laga kar padhai karo”
kaash unhe koi ye samjha de ki “dil lagan eke bad padhai nahi hoti”

62. Maths teacher: - if u have 12 chocolates and u give 5 to leena, 3 to teena, 4 to meema
Then what will u have?
Student: - 3 new haseena’s

63. jamin par ho to ek sms bhejo,aasman par ho to barish bheja,
swarg par ho to bulaawa bheja,or nark main ho to “enjot yourself”

64. roshni kab kam hui pata na chala,kab khushi kam hui pata na chala
aap ki yaad main is tarah dube hum, aankhe kab nam hui pata na chala.

65. air hostres to lalu :- r u vegitarion or nonvegitarion ?
lalu :- I am Indian
air hostress :- no sir! R u shakahari or mansahari ?
lalu :- hat sasuri I am bihari.

66. girl,s father :- main nahi chahta ki meri beti puri zindgi ek gadhe ke saath gujar de.
Boy friend :- bus isiliye main use yahan se lene aaya hun.

67. ramdev baba ka mela laga hua hai haridwar main.prasad main kambal diya jar aha hai.
Kisi ko mat batana ye sms kewal selected fakiron ko bheja jar aha hai.

68. sardar bar main ro raha tha onner bola kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar bola “main jis ladki ka naam bhulna chahta tha uska naam yaad nahi aa raha hai.

69. bahut deer ke baad train chali.muslim bola “ya ali” hindu bola “jai bajrang bali”
ek insane bola kya ali kya bali train to baaju wali chali.

70. love is like a paint,but friendship is like a chaddi.
B,coz paint fat bhi gai to chaddi izzat bacha leti hai..

71. bhakt :- he bhagwan mughe wardan do ki main marne baad zinda ho sakun.
Bhagwan :-ye mara bas ki baat nahi putra , ye to sirf ekta kapur kar sakti hai..

72. costomer to a sardar (restorent onner ) :- papaji soup main makkhi hai !
sardar :- oye dil bada rakh makkhi tera kitna soup pi jayegi yaar .

73. machhar or makhi ki ho gai shadi, pehli hi raat main ho gai machhar ki barbadi.
Bola apni to kismet hi khoti hai,makhi raat ko goodnight lagakar soti hai.

74. boy : bus, train, ladki ek jaise hoti hai, ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai,
girl : ladke autoricshow or taxi ek jaise hote hai ek ko bulao char chale aate hai..

75. sarsar kle ghar siddhu ki taswir padi hui thi, dost ne pucha ye kyun rakhi hai.
Sardar : yaar main laughing budha lene gaya tha dukandar bola ye latest hai..

76. log kahte hai kikhuda ne aapko badi fursat main banaya hai…
simpal sed baat hai faltu kaam fursat main hi karte hai..

77. ishq ke school main naya mahol ho gaya. Ek teacher ko pappu se pyar ho gaya.
Tabhi se sari class ka dil udas ho gaya sare bache fail or pappu pass ho gaya.

78. banta took radio to toilet, when he come out
santa asked :- maja aaya kya
banta :- gaanta maja! Sala “jan gan man” baj raha tha,sara potty khade khade karni padi…

79. boy :- ye bewaf atune ye kya kiya dil jala kar raakh kar diya
pyemika :- tere qurbane bekar nahi jayegi bhej de aapni raakh bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi..

80. rahul Gandhi :-mom aapki wajah se meri shadi nahi ho rahi
soniya Gandhi :- kyon ?
rahul Gandhi :- har taraf likha hai soniya ko bahu mat do

81. lalu plane ke upar khada tha raste main tufan aaya dhoti ud gai,phir bijli kadki
lalu :- ek to hamar dhoti chin li upar se sasura photo lewat hai..

82. what is tha similar between marriage &11.59.p.m
dono ke baad 12 bajte hai or din badal jate hain..

83. jo jita wo sikandar jo hara wo jail ke andar,jo sms bheje usko jadu ki jappi.
Jo no bheje usko Bandar ki pappi.

84. teacher :- humen machcharo ko paida hone se rokna hoga.
Student :- ye nahe ho sakta
Teacher :- kyun ?
Student :- itne chote condom banana impossible hai .

85. munna bhai ka fanda closeup se danth saaf karne ka, pepsodent se majbut karne ka,
babul se fresh karne ka, agar phir bhi white nahi hua to bindas harpic use karne ka..

86. santa banta ko 3 bomb mile,police ko dene chale.
Santa :- agar koi bomb raste main fat jaye to.
Banta :- oye yaar jhooth bol denge ki 2 hi mile the.

87. ahnsi ke liye gum kurban, khushi ke liye aansu kurban,a dost tere liye jaan bhi kurban,
agar mil jjye teri girl friend to sale tub hi kurban…

88. santa to his servant :- go and water the plants.
Servants :- it is already raining.
Santa :- so take what an umbrella and go.

89. bhagwan shankar or parwati mata computer kyu nahi seekh paye tell.
Tell nahi malum kyu ki ganpati bappa hamesha mouse le kar bhag jaya karte the.

90. utni pio sharab ki hosh salamat rahe kyoki galib ne farmaya hai ki
“raat bhar pi sharab ti raat kat gai… subah kiya hisab to gand fat gai”

91. yamraj took took lalu to hell,there he saw gandhiji dansingwith bipasha.
Lalu asked yamraj: Gandhi ji ko saja itni majedar kyun?
Yamraj :- saja to bipasha ko mili hai…

92. hathi, gai,or gadhe main bahas hui ki hamme se best kon hai
haathi ;- main bhari saman utha sakta hun.
Gai :- main doodh deti hun,
……………………kuch bolo yaar ab tumhar baari

93. aaj uski shararat samajh aaye,yahan par Aapki jarurat samajh aaye.
Aapko dharti pe bhejna to bahana tha ,”rawan” ki jagah kisi ko to aana tha.

94. marwadi apne bacho se bola jo rat main khana nahi khayega usko 5-5 rs dunga.
Bache 5-5 rs lekar so gay.
Subah bola-jo 5 rs dega usko hi khana milega…jai marwadi

95. police :tumhe kal subah 5 baje fansi de jayegi.
Sardar : ha ha ha…
Police : kyon has rahe ho.
Sardar : main to subah 8 baje uthta hun.

96. wo chand si ladki,julfe uski kali,uski chal aisi mano hirni si matwali.
Uski har ada is jahan se nirali. Par aap kya karoge wo ladki maine patali.

97. agar aap chahte hai ki aapke chehre pe dhul miti na chipke to…….to.
har roj lagaye ashian paint ka apex altima, jo dhul miti ko tikne na de.

98. shadi main sardar bahut der se kha raha tha,dusre ne pucha kab tak khaoge.
Sardar :- main to khud kha kha ke dukhi hun.card ,main likha hai dinner 7pm-10pm.

99. ox : ae kya bolti tu
cow : ae, kya main bilun
ox ;sun, suna aati kya gaushala
kya karu aake main gaushala?
Mundi hilayenge
Ghas chabayenge,
Gobar phelayenge aur kya.

100. man conducting marketing survey asked a lady:- which book halped u most in your life?
Lady :- my husbend’s cheque book…..

101. biscuitwala’s love later: dear parle-g, 2day is good day, you have krack jacked my little heart.
I am in 50-50 position. Plz don’t play hide &seek and just marie me..

102. fizao main tum ,ghatao main tum, bago main tum , bahao main tum,
kisi ne such hi kaha hai,bhatakti aatmao kakoi thikana nahi hota…

103. dosti karo collage wali se,pyar karo office wali se,programme karo pados wali se,
ankh ladao Sali se,love karo dil wali se, aur mar khao ghar wali se…

104. mom :- beta khana khayega ?
beta :- na
mom ;- laddu khayega ?
beta :- na
mom :- mithai khayega ?
beta :-na
mom ;- icecream khayega ?
beta :- na
mom ;- baap pe gaya hai mar hi khayega…

105. harbhajan ne apni biwi se pucha “kya main tumhara pehla pyar hun”
biwi boli--- ‘kar din a sardaro wali bat spinar ko kabhi opening milte hai kya”

106. fizao main tum ho, ghatao main tum ho,bago main tum, baharo main tum ho.
Kisi ne such hi kaha hai bhatakti aatmao ka koi thikana nahi hota…..

107. haqiqat samjho ya fasana, apna samjho ya begana,hamara aapka rishta hai purana,
isliye farz tha aapko batana, kit hand shuru ho gai hai plz roz mat nahana…

108. jiski ek smile par hai duniya fida, jisse dil na hona chahe juda,
jiski style hai ekdum la-jawab, wo aap nahi hum hai janab…

109. 2 lover’s plan sucide,
boy jumped 1st
girl close his eye and return and saying pyar andha hota hai,
boy open his parashut and say pyar kabhi marta nahi…

110. boy :- janeman is dil main aaja.
Girl :- sandal utaun kya.
Boy :- are pagli, ye koi mandir thodi hai aise hi aaja…

111. teacher :- tell me 5 water animals
student ;- fish
teacher :- good. 4 ke naam aur batao.
Student :- fish di kudi, fish da putter, fish di ma, or us di pra…

112. jab teri yaad aati hai to tera sms padh leti hun.jab tujhe dekhna ho to aankhe band kar leti hun.
Jab teri aawaj sunni ho to raste main kutte ko lat mar deti hun.

113. dil ke jakhm kisi ko dikha na sakoge,dil main jo gum hai kisi ko bata na sakoge.
Karoge jawani main jo ladki pe kharche, bodhape tak udhari chukka na sakoge.

114. tumhe apni doste ki kasam sirf yas or no main hi jawab dena
kya tumne mandie se chappal churana band kar diya hai?

115. 1 aadmi apni biwi se bola : raja dasrath ki 3 biwiya thi is hisab se main 2 shadiyan kar sakta hun.
Biwi boli : bus itna yaad rakhna ki draupati k 5 pati the..

116. ladki patane ka tarika :- chupke se uske piche ja kar use darao,
agar wo hasi to samjho wo pat gai,agar wo gussa hui to jor jor se chillao didi dar gai.

117.Pehla Pagal- Meri Mutthi Me Kya Hai? Dusra Pagal- Shayad, Tajmahal. Pehla- Mutthi Band Hone Par Bhi Tumne Dekh Liya.

118.Santa ek bache se : Beta 1 accha sa jhoot bolo agar mujhe pasand aaya to mai tumhe 5 rupey dunga. Bacha : Ye Lo,Abhi 10 rupay kahe the.

119.Santa: Mujhe Kitab Likhne Me 1 Saal Lag Jata Hai. Banta: Itni Mehnat Kyo Karte Ho? 15 Rupaye Me Likhi Hui Kitab Mil Jati Hai.

120.Q. Where Do You Find A One Legged Dog?
A. Where You Left It.

121.Q: Women should not have children after 35. Ans: No, I think 35 are enough.

122.Santa drawing money frm ATM. Banta, who was just behind him said: I have seen ur password. Its 4star. Santa: Ur wrong, Its 1394.

123.Santa: Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi Thi Ki Mujhe Usase Rishta Todna Pada. Banta: Lekin Uski Mang Kya Thi? Santa: Shadi Ki.

124.Pehla Jailor- Ab Bhi Apki Patni Kaidiyo Ke Liye Gati Hai? Dusra- Nahi, Kaidi Kehte Hai Ye Unki Saza Me Shamil Nahi Hai.

125.Q. What did the spider do on the computer? A. Made a website!

126.Patient To Doc: Nurse Bahut Achhi Hai Uska Hath Lagte Hi Mai Thik Ho Gaya.
Doc: Ha. Thappad Ki Awaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.

127.Santa dials a no, A girl receives d call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Oye Chandigarh phone kiya tha, Ayodhya lag gaya.

128.Santa: Meri Biwi Mujse Ek Kiss Ka 100 Rs Leti Hai. Banta: Tu Bada Lucky Hai Wo Dusro Se To 500 Rs Leti Hai.

129.Santa calls Banta on phone and says Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon.
Banta replies: Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon.

130.Santa: Kya Tum Hamesha Isi Tarah Haklate Ho? Banta: Nahi Ya..R..R..R.. Mai K..K...Keval B..B..B..Bolte Wakt Hi H..H..H..H...Haklata Hu.

131.Painter: Main Madam Ki Aisi Tasveer Banaunga Jo Bol Uthegi. Suraj: Agar Iski Tasveer Bhi Bolne Lagegi To Jeena Mushkil Ho Jayega.

132.Santa asks Banta how was ur exam? Banta: It was ok but I could not ans. past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally wrote THUNK.

133.Santa: Kal Ek Admi Aurat Ko Peet Raha Tha. Maine Kaha Mard Se Lado. Banta: Fir? Santa: Jab Mujhe Hosh Aaya To Main Hospital Me Tha.

134.Bachelor life:Mon ko dosti, Tues ko pyar, Wed ko shaadi, Thus ko barbadi, Fri ko fighting, Sat ko talaq, Sun ko rest, Mon ko phir se talash

135.Naukrani: Aap Udas Kyo Hai?
Malkin: Tumhare Sahab Office Me Kisi Se Pyar Karte Hai
Naukrani: Sahab Mujhe Dhokha Nahi De Sakte.

136.Naukar: Memsab Ek Admi Packet Me Na Jane Kya De Gaya Ki Dekhte Hi Sahab Behosh Ho Gaye. Memsab: Iska Matlab Hai Jauhari Mera Navlakha Har De

137.Santa asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

138.Santa: Jab Train Late Aati Hai To Timetable Ka Kya Fayda? Banta: Train Agar Late Na Ho To Waiting Room Ka Kya Fayda?

139.Ha ha ha ha hha ho ho ho ho oh oh oh ooh ohh eh eh hee he he ho he he he......... KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI...ha ha ho ho.

140.Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.Mile mujhe, mera ho jaye. Karu SMS ladkion ko naam tera aye. Maar tujhe pade aur kaleja mera thanda ho jaye.

141.

NON - VEG

1. ladkio aur tea main hamesha 7 qualities dekho
 Garam ho
 Colour sahe ho
 Tez ho
 Meethi ho
 Doodh jyada ho
 2 minute main taiyar ho
 bed par mile

2. hugli hugli
dugli dugli
bugli bugli
basssssss!
Has mat gandu
Ye mantra land chota karne ka tha
Khol ke dekh..

3. 3 ladies enjoying gups
1st :- mere pati pura hath dal dete hai andar
2nd :-mere pati to 1 hath or 1 pair dal date hai andar
3rd :-salwar utha kar boli aji sunte hojara bahar aana..

4. teacher :-teri shikayat aaye hai tu gali bahut deta hai….!
Boy :-ghanta bhenchod, maine kis madarchod ko gali de?
Pata nahi kis madarchod ne aapki gand main ungli ki hai
Who bahin ka loda agar samne aa jaye to uski maa chod dunga
Sir aapka student gand marwa lega par kisi ko gali nahi dega…

5. aadme bade mud main waiter se bola :- waiter ek sexy chai pilao
waiter bola :- hamare yahan gay ka doodh aata hai, bipasha ya mallika ka nahi.

6. women :- docter sab mughe kuch din baccha nahi chahiye
doctor :- lo ye condom le lo.
Women :- ye paani ke saath lun ya doodh ke saath.
Doctor :- kele ke saath.

7. ladka ladki sex kar rahe the suddenly ladka bola kya hum dono shadi kar le?
Ladki boli majdur ho majduri karo malik banne ki kosish na karo…!

8. director to mallika :- suhagraat ka seen hai aap usmain garam doodh ka glass deti hai.
Mallika ;- galss se he pilana tha to mujhe kyun liya, vidya ko bula lete..

9. ek 4 saal k ladka ladki bathtub main naha rahe the.
Ladki boli main teri susu pakad lun,
Ladka bola apni susu todli meri bhi todegi kya.

10. sambha sardar thakur ka kya karna hai…
gabbar :- kuch nahi uske haath kaat do aur use roj 3 blue film dikao
wo khud hi tadap tadap ke mar jayega..

11. suhag raat thi. Saas ne darwaja knock kiya,dulhan parde ke piche chup gai.
Dulha bola :- darti kyu ho maa aaye hai
Dulhan boli :- main samjhi “raid” pad gai..

12. ek sardar roadside susu kar raha tha ek angrage ne usse pucha yahan police nahi pakadti kya.
Sardar :- nahi yahan hamen khud hi pakadna padta hai..

13. sabji wala :- madam ye 500 ka note blouse se nikala hai kya?
Madam ;- haan par kaise pata chala.
Sabji wala :- Gandhi ji ka mooh khula hua hai .

14. sardar ki bakery main ek customar ne bahar se pucha sardar ji “pav” hai kya
sardar ne bola madarchod andar aake dekh main kya land pe khada hun..

15. 2 women gossiping
1st - roz subah doodhwala bahut dabata hai (bell)
2nd - isse to acha apna paper wala hai niche se dalta hai (paper). “dirty mind”

16. what is the full name of condom?
Confidential ornament needed for domestic occasion before marriage.

17. starplus adult pe aaj raat
8 baje desh main nikli hogi rand
9 baje kabhi chut kabhi gand
10 baje kahani land 2 ki
11 baje chut bhi kabhi tight thi,
do not miss it.

18. sharab pio to aankhe lal,mehndi lagao to haath lal,kiss lo to lips lal,
chut chodo to land lal, pakde gaye to gand lal,bach gaye to jio mere lal.

19. bhoot : bhagwam mughe ladkiyon ka khun pina hai.
Bhagwan : tathastu ja whisper ban jaa..

20. full name of fergusson
f : fuck
e : every
r : rich
g : girl
u : until
s : she
s : says
o : oh!
N : no!!

21. feeling bored? Wondering what to do?
Open the zip enter your hand in between the zip,take out your …
“book” from your bag and study

22. upar wale ne ek dost banaya hai, jise maine aapme paya hai,
tu mere dil main aise samaya hai, jaise 28’ ki bra main zabardasti kisi ne 36’ ka ball fasaya hai..

23. man : sardar ji ye scooty kab li?
Sardar :kal raat ek ladki mujhe scooty par bahut dur le gai or
Boli jo chahiye le lo, main scooty le aaya, kapdon ka kya karta..

24. oscar nominated blue film
 hasina ki gand main pasina
 ghar main sail to puri raat diwali
 pati fauj main biwi mauj main
 phad ke panty nikla banty

25. madam :- sabse jyada protin kis doodh main hota hai
student :- jawan ladki ke doodh main
madam :- kaise?
Student :-usko pite hi bina haddi wala part bhi khada ho jata hai..

26. boy :- I liked your kiss last night especially when you pass that chewing gum into my mouth
girl :- what chewing gum ?that is your condom

27. old man entered in pco
the girl asked : baba ji kahan karna hai
baba ji replied :- dekh beti kursi pe to muskil hogi ,niche he bori bicha le..

28. santa ;- dr. sab gand main dard hai
dr. :- mai hath ghusata hun batana dard kahan hai
santa :- andar or andar or andar , han yahi.
Dr. :- madarchod gale main tonsil hai..

29. kyo dil ke karib aa jata hai koi, kyo pyar ka chsas kara jata hai koi,
jab aadat si ho jati hai dil ko uski.to kyo dur chala jata hai koi.

30. husband :-plz aaj karne do main tumhe kapde le dunga,
wife :- no
husband :- zewar la dunga
wife :- no
husband :- ghar le dunga
wife :- no
beta bola :- papa!! Meri gand mar lo aur cycle dila do.

31. maa :- are kalmuhi kahan thi raat bhar ?
beti :- maa boyfriend ke paas gai thi.
Maa :- haramjadi kar aaye apna muh kala ?
Beti :- to kya hua “ fair and lovely” hai na.

32. ladki :- kaha se baat kar rahe ho ?
ladka :- bedroom se rajai ke andar se.
ladki :- wahan par coverage hai kya ?
ladka ;- ha mera personal tower jo khada hai..

33. ek din mallika sherawat apni life se pareshan ho kar railway line pe tang faila ke so gai
agle din paper main chhapa tha rajdhani express kahi kho gai..

34. kya hoga agar pepsodent wale condom banaye to ?
hona kya hai?.... raat bhar dhisum dhisum !!

35. a bra falls on a doodhwala when he was entrin a building.
He looks up and shouts oh behen ji ,aapke foofh ka fhakan gir gaya.

36. monkeys and girls both are same :they always fight only for bananas.
Whereas boys and rets are same : they are always searching for new holes.

37. talash ek gumshuda land ki rang sanwala, kad 6 inch, mundi kati hui,
kohinur extra pahne huye agar aapko kahen mile to apni gand main dal lena.

38. dhirtashtra : main khush hun ki tumne 100 putro ko janm diya.
Gandhari : swami agar aap andhe na hote to ye asambhav tha.

39. maa : beti ladka kaisa laga
beti : achha tha par thoda chota hai.
Maa : beti t.v. 14’ ka ho ya 29’ ka remote hamesha 6 ka hi hota hai.

40. girl :- I am like a radio, my left nipple is volume & right is tunner.
Boy turns both but there is no sound,
Girl :- chodu ! niche plug tera baap dalega..

41. bahu :- sasu ji aapke bete se kuch nahi hoga,
saas :- chup kar agar tere sasur ke bhrose rahti to aaj tu meri bahu nahi hoti.

42. girl :- arre itna bada muh main kaise lungi?
Boy :- muh to kholo
Girl :- chee! Sare kapde gile kar diye
Boy :- aur logi?
Girl :- nahi baba ye pani puri tum hi khao.

43. mere dost ki ek saheli the dosti hui to paheli thi,pyar hua to jaan hatheli pet hi,
aur shadi hui to pata chala ki wo ganga jamuna ki chameli thi.

44. ---------------kapde sukh rahe the.
Sasur :- ye kala kapda kiska hai?
Saas ;- bahu ki panty hai ji
Sasur :- achha! Kabhi pahne huye dekha nahi na isliye pucha.

45. girl :-if u try to kiss me main shor macha dungi
boy ;- par yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl :- pata hai par formality to nibhana padta hai..

46. arj kiya hai sandas ke pani main tairta hua gu “gaur farmaiye”
sandas ke paani main tairta hua gu. Sara jahan khoja tab mila tu.”wah wah”

47. class main ek ladki biscuit kha rahi thi thoda khake bre main chupa rahi thi
sir bole kya kar rahi ho, “baju main baitha hua sardar bola”
sir biscuit ko dudh main duba-duba ke kha rahi hai.

48. kamwali bai ko ek din condom mila
bai :- malkin ye kya hai?
Malkin ;- yere gaon main sex nahi hota kya.
Bai :-karte hai par itna nahi ki land ki khal nikal jaye.

49. wo shaniwar ki sham thi haath main glass bhari jam thi,
pilane wali itwari ki jhakas rand thi,aur jab hosh aaya tabpolice ka danda aur tere gand thi.

50. kya diya kudrat ne jamane ko ? ek diya ghusane ko ek diya dabane ko.
Par aaj kal ye sab kahan milta hai, milta hai to sirf hilane ko.

51. boy :- fool ho gulab ka jismain kante na ho, chut ho 16 ki jismain jhate na ho.
Girl :- gulab ke fool main log kante nahi dekhte,chut chodne wale kabhi jhate nahi dekhte.

52. sardar ki gand pe pimple hua wo aina rakh kar malam laga raha tha,to uska loda khada ho gaya
sardar bola abe niche baith ye apni hi gand hai.

53. mallika ;- I want 24 size bra.
Sales man ;- madam I think it is too small for your breast.
Mallika ;-not for my breast just to cover my nipple.

54. gabbar ;- yeh gand mujhe dede thakur
thakur :- dekh gabbar haath tak to thik hai lekin ye gand masti mujhe pasand nahi.

55. out side a pub a sardar asks a girl :- shall we have sex tonight?
Girl :- do u mind if I am on my menstrual cycle?
Sardar :- it is ok even I am on bajaj pulser.

56. meaning of wife and husband
w :-wonderfull
I :-item
F :- for
E :- entertainment
H :-handsome
U :-use full
S :-smart
B :-but
A :- at
N :- night
D :- dangerous

57. raat ke 12 baje premika kahti hai “ jadugar sainya chodo mere baiya ho gai aadhi raat ab ghar jane do”
premi :- “aadhi raat ko koi bhala chodta hai kya?”

58. bus stop pe ek ladki whisper ka paket lekar khadi thi.
Bhikhari :-kuch dedo
Ladki :-kuch nahi hai
Bhikhari :- ye bread ka puda dedo
Ladki :- kal aana sos laga ke dungi.

59. wo maja na takht main, na taj main,na puri duniya ke raaj main,na sur main,na saj main,
na kuber ke khajane main, jo maja hai subah uth kar gotiyan khujane main.

60. wife :- remove my skirt.
Sardar :- ok
Wife :- romove my top.
Sardar :- ok
Wife :- remove me bra.
Sardar :- ok
Wife :- remove my panties.
Sardar:- ok
Wife :- and never wear my dress again.

61. hello hello mera lelo……………………………….”dil”
bolo bolo aapni kholo…………………………….. “zuban”
dekho dekho apni khol ke dekho………………….. “aankhe”
dekha kitna bada hai mera………………………….. “dil”

62. bihari :- ari o doctor kaisa nasbandi kiya ho. Hamari biwi fir se maa banne wali hai.
Doctor :- sale ! hum nasbandi tuhri kiya hun .pure bihar hi nahi..

63. laila ko karna ho impress to majnu ne khai mintofress.
Jab majnu ko karma ho impress to laila ko utarna hoga apna dress ..
Bole to ek dum fresh.

64. hasrat thi ki khole unki salwar ka nada,unki bra ka hook, unki panty ka elastic,
par sanam ki berukhi to dekho.wo nangi hi chale aaye..

65. define rape :- it is an operation without co-operation for the insertion of erection
into depression without permission for the production..

FRIENDS

1. yakin pe yakin dilate hai dost,raah chalte hue ko bewakuf banate hai dost.
Sharbat bol kar daru pilate hai dost,par kuch bhi kaho sale bahut yaad aate hai dost.

2. few relation in earth never die. Want to know what is it ? read again,
f-few
r-relation
i-in
e-earth
n-never
d-die
that is friend

3. hum jite har baji aur mashur ho gaye,teri hasi me hase to aansu dur ho gaye,
bus ek tere jaise dost ki dosti se,aaj hum kanch se kohinur ho gaye.

4. Relationship is like a tree. It is not measured on how tall it could be,but,
on how deep the roots have grown .

5. 7 colour make rainbow, 7 swara make music,
7 days make a week & 7 words make friends.

6. dost to bahut hote hai, kuch karib kuch ajij hote hai,
kuch banate hai hum apni marji se, kuch aap jaise hme jindgi se naseeb hote hai.

7. fiza main mahkti shaan ho tum, pyar me mehkta jam ho tum,
tumhe dil me chupaye phirte hai,ae dost meri zindgi ka dusra nam ho tum.

8. doati ki mahak ishq se kam nahi hoti, ishq pe hi zindgi khatm nahi hoti,
agar saath ho zindgi main achche dost ka, zindgi kisi zannat se kam nahi hoti.

9. Friend ship is like a susu in the paints other can only see it ,
but only you can feel it is warmth spreading slowly all over.
So do it n feel it now.

10. waise ti kai dost hai hamare, jaise aasman main kai tare,
par aap dost ke aasman ke wo chand ho, jiske samne fike padte hai sare sitare.

11. ye chand tu chamak chahe na chamak hamain koi gum nahi ,kyuki,
ye sms padhne wala bhi ek chand hai jiski chamak tujhse kam nahi.

12. in the world few thing are good gift,
mom’s love
dad’s advice
brother’s care
sister’s fight
baby’s smile
and apun ki yaari

13. ek jam wafa ke naam, ek jam ulfat ke naam,ek jam mahobbat ke naam,
ek jam hasin mausam ke naam, aur puri botal apni dosti ke naam..

14.what is real but invisible ?
your care
what is true but unfair?
Your absence
What is sweet but naughty?
Your smile
What is precious but priceless?
Your friendship

15. stars are unapproachable, sun is very hot,moon is too far.
So god gave me a friend like you so that I can say
I love my one little universe.

16. hamari mehfil ko fasana mil gaya, hamari galiyon ko afsana mil gaya.
Apki dosti aise mili dost, jaise khuda ki taraf se koi najrana mil gaya.

17. karni khuda se kuch fariyad baki hai, dil main chupi ek fariyad baaki hai.
Maut aayegi to kah denge ruk ja, dost se abhi ek mulakat baki hai..

18. aap jaise dost hote nahi sabhi ke liye, ye daulat hai kisi kisi ke liye.
Kaun jalaye shama use bujha dijiye, aap kya kam hai roshni ke liye,

19. aapki dosti ki ek najar chahiye, dil hai beghar use ek ghar chahiye,
bus yuhi chalte raho e dost, ye dosti hume umrebhar chahiye.

20. har lal rang red nahi hota, har murda dead nahi hota,kaise kahun par sach hai
har koi aapki tarah MAD nahi hota. M-mera A-achcha D-dost.

21. chand ki chandni kam pad jaye,phulon ki khushbu shayad phiki pad jaye.
Par hamari dosti mehekti rahe, shayad zindgi ke lamhe kam pad jaye..

22. Friendship is silent gift of nature, more old more strong,more drro more clear,
more close more warm, less words more understanding. Keep smiling

23. dil ke jajbat ki aawaj nahi hoti,ikrar main sukun ki barsat nahi hoti,
nigahain bayan kar deti hai dastan sari, dosti lafjo ki mohtaj nahi hoti..

24. degrees of girls!
b.a.:- beautiful angle
b.e.:- beautiful eye’s
b.sc:- beautiful structure
b.l.:- beautiful lip’s
m.b.a.:- married but available..

25. muddat se dur the hum tum, ek jamane ke bad milna acha laga,
sagar se gahri lage dosti aapki,tairna aata tha magar doobna achcha laga..

26. sab kahte hai..achhe log mar ke..*sitare*ban jate hai
magar hum kahte hai.. *ache sitare*toot kar aap jaise dost ban jate hai…

27. bikta hai gum husn ke bajar main,dard chupta hai 1 chote se inkar main,
ho jao agar jamane se dukhi, tosuagat hai hamari dosti k darbar main..

28. hansi ki raho par chala karo khushiyon ki mahak ko mahsus kiya karo
pyase dil ko chua karo agar aapko koi gam sataye to is pyare dost ko yaad kiya karo..

29. f :=: funny
r :=: reality
I :=: ideal
E :=: enjoyable
N :=: naughty
D :=: dearest
That is you my friend.
30. Friendship means to help without hesitation, to give without expectation,
To love without limitation, & to remember even without communication..

31. chale gaye hain dur kuch pal ke liye, magar rahna har pal dil ke karib har pal ke liye.
Kaise bhulayen aapko ek bhi pal ke liye, lab ho chuki hai dosti har pal ke liye..

32. English start from a b c , maths start from 1 2 3,
Hindi start from a aa e, friendship start from you and me..

33. dosti se kimti koi jagir nahi hoti, dosti se khubsurat koi tasweer nahi hoti,
dosti youn to hai kacha dhaga , magar is dhage se majbut koi zanzeer nahi hai..

34. hamari aapki dosti bilkul fix hai, love emotion, sadness,sub kuch mix hai,
hum aapko na bhulenge kabhi, aap bhul na jayen kabhi bus yahi dar hai.

35. meri rooh vich mera yaar wasda, meri aankh vich usda deedar wasda,
sanu apne dard di parwah nahi, par rab kare har waqt rahe mera yaar hasda,

36. Aaj ke friend’s I tell you, kitne busy what to do,koi muje bole I miss you,
Koi muje bole no time for you, kabhi koi mujse na kahe “0oye mere dost I am free for you”...

37. Friendship and love like a rubber band, flexible u can stretch it as much as u want,
But do not leave it after stretching, it hurt’s a lot...

38. Sweet like honey, costly like shower, smile like flower, cool like ice,
A friend so nice, guess who? O hello it’s you..

39. dosti barish nahi hai jo ek bar tezi se hui aur hame bhiga kar chali gai.
Dosti hai hawa ,jo dikhai na de par hamesha hamare aas pas rahe.

40. tumhari is dosti ka kya jawab dun, tum jaise dost ko kya tohfa dun,
koi achcha sa phul hota to la dete,par jo khud guldasta hai use kya phul du..

41. teri dosti main ek nasha hai isliye duniya mujse khafa hai,
na karo humse itni dosti ki dil puche ki dhadkan kahan hai..

42. “friend” who is?
F : first for me
R : ready anytime for me
I : inspires me
E : enjoys life with me
N : never forget me
D : dear to me

43. good created good heart : you got it
he created good brain :you got it
he created good face : you got it
he created good friend : this time I got it

45. who is a dost ?
I will tell u dost wo jo bewajh sar khaye,
Aap ek bolo wo char sunaye,kabhe sataye, kabhi rulaye
Magar hamesha saath nibhaye..

46 dost aksar yunhi ban jate hai,kuch saath rahte hai ,
kuch bikhar jate hai, kuch yaad rakhte hai ,kuch bhul jate hai,
ab hum aapko dekhte hai aap kahan tak saath nibhate hai..

47. har aarzu puri nahi hoti, dosto main kabhi duri nahi hoti,
jinke dil maim aap jaise dost rahte hai,unke liye to dhadkan bhi jaruri nahi hoti…

48. na khwabo main dekha na najaro main dekha,hajaro main ek dost tum jaisa dekha.
Gum dene wale to her pal hai yahan, par har pal khushi dene walon mein bus apko dekha..

49. dosti jiwan ki hai parchai,kabhi wafa to kabhi hai bewafa,
such dukh ka hai ismain aana jana, duniy amain sabse pyara riahta,
bus ye dostana hai.

50. mana ki aaj hum akele reh gaye, judai ke aanse aankho se beh gaye,
rote rahe ki koi hamen chup karayega, magar jo chup karate the vo hi rone ko keh gaye..

51. tanha rehna to seekh liya humne, par khush na kabhi reh paayenge,
teri duri to seh lete hai, ye zindagi par tere bin ji na payenge..

52. tufano me kasti ko kinare mil jate hai, duniya main logo ko sahare mil jate hai.
Sabse pyari hoti hai zindgi, lekin kuch log zindgi se bhi pyare mil jate hai..