NON - VEG

1. ladkio aur tea main hamesha 7 qualities dekho
 Garam ho
 Colour sahe ho
 Tez ho
 Meethi ho
 Doodh jyada ho
 2 minute main taiyar ho
 bed par mile

2. hugli hugli
dugli dugli
bugli bugli
basssssss!
Has mat gandu
Ye mantra land chota karne ka tha
Khol ke dekh..

3. 3 ladies enjoying gups
1st :- mere pati pura hath dal dete hai andar
2nd :-mere pati to 1 hath or 1 pair dal date hai andar
3rd :-salwar utha kar boli aji sunte hojara bahar aana..

4. teacher :-teri shikayat aaye hai tu gali bahut deta hai….!
Boy :-ghanta bhenchod, maine kis madarchod ko gali de?
Pata nahi kis madarchod ne aapki gand main ungli ki hai
Who bahin ka loda agar samne aa jaye to uski maa chod dunga
Sir aapka student gand marwa lega par kisi ko gali nahi dega…

5. aadme bade mud main waiter se bola :- waiter ek sexy chai pilao
waiter bola :- hamare yahan gay ka doodh aata hai, bipasha ya mallika ka nahi.

6. women :- docter sab mughe kuch din baccha nahi chahiye
doctor :- lo ye condom le lo.
Women :- ye paani ke saath lun ya doodh ke saath.
Doctor :- kele ke saath.

7. ladka ladki sex kar rahe the suddenly ladka bola kya hum dono shadi kar le?
Ladki boli majdur ho majduri karo malik banne ki kosish na karo…!

8. director to mallika :- suhagraat ka seen hai aap usmain garam doodh ka glass deti hai.
Mallika ;- galss se he pilana tha to mujhe kyun liya, vidya ko bula lete..

9. ek 4 saal k ladka ladki bathtub main naha rahe the.
Ladki boli main teri susu pakad lun,
Ladka bola apni susu todli meri bhi todegi kya.

10. sambha sardar thakur ka kya karna hai…
gabbar :- kuch nahi uske haath kaat do aur use roj 3 blue film dikao
wo khud hi tadap tadap ke mar jayega..

11. suhag raat thi. Saas ne darwaja knock kiya,dulhan parde ke piche chup gai.
Dulha bola :- darti kyu ho maa aaye hai
Dulhan boli :- main samjhi “raid” pad gai..

12. ek sardar roadside susu kar raha tha ek angrage ne usse pucha yahan police nahi pakadti kya.
Sardar :- nahi yahan hamen khud hi pakadna padta hai..

13. sabji wala :- madam ye 500 ka note blouse se nikala hai kya?
Madam ;- haan par kaise pata chala.
Sabji wala :- Gandhi ji ka mooh khula hua hai .

14. sardar ki bakery main ek customar ne bahar se pucha sardar ji “pav” hai kya
sardar ne bola madarchod andar aake dekh main kya land pe khada hun..

15. 2 women gossiping
1st - roz subah doodhwala bahut dabata hai (bell)
2nd - isse to acha apna paper wala hai niche se dalta hai (paper). “dirty mind”

16. what is the full name of condom?
Confidential ornament needed for domestic occasion before marriage.

17. starplus adult pe aaj raat
8 baje desh main nikli hogi rand
9 baje kabhi chut kabhi gand
10 baje kahani land 2 ki
11 baje chut bhi kabhi tight thi,
do not miss it.

18. sharab pio to aankhe lal,mehndi lagao to haath lal,kiss lo to lips lal,
chut chodo to land lal, pakde gaye to gand lal,bach gaye to jio mere lal.

19. bhoot : bhagwam mughe ladkiyon ka khun pina hai.
Bhagwan : tathastu ja whisper ban jaa..

20. full name of fergusson
f : fuck
e : every
r : rich
g : girl
u : until
s : she
s : says
o : oh!
N : no!!

21. feeling bored? Wondering what to do?
Open the zip enter your hand in between the zip,take out your …
“book” from your bag and study

22. upar wale ne ek dost banaya hai, jise maine aapme paya hai,
tu mere dil main aise samaya hai, jaise 28’ ki bra main zabardasti kisi ne 36’ ka ball fasaya hai..

23. man : sardar ji ye scooty kab li?
Sardar :kal raat ek ladki mujhe scooty par bahut dur le gai or
Boli jo chahiye le lo, main scooty le aaya, kapdon ka kya karta..

24. oscar nominated blue film
 hasina ki gand main pasina
 ghar main sail to puri raat diwali
 pati fauj main biwi mauj main
 phad ke panty nikla banty

25. madam :- sabse jyada protin kis doodh main hota hai
student :- jawan ladki ke doodh main
madam :- kaise?
Student :-usko pite hi bina haddi wala part bhi khada ho jata hai..

26. boy :- I liked your kiss last night especially when you pass that chewing gum into my mouth
girl :- what chewing gum ?that is your condom

27. old man entered in pco
the girl asked : baba ji kahan karna hai
baba ji replied :- dekh beti kursi pe to muskil hogi ,niche he bori bicha le..

28. santa ;- dr. sab gand main dard hai
dr. :- mai hath ghusata hun batana dard kahan hai
santa :- andar or andar or andar , han yahi.
Dr. :- madarchod gale main tonsil hai..

29. kyo dil ke karib aa jata hai koi, kyo pyar ka chsas kara jata hai koi,
jab aadat si ho jati hai dil ko uski.to kyo dur chala jata hai koi.

30. husband :-plz aaj karne do main tumhe kapde le dunga,
wife :- no
husband :- zewar la dunga
wife :- no
husband :- ghar le dunga
wife :- no
beta bola :- papa!! Meri gand mar lo aur cycle dila do.

31. maa :- are kalmuhi kahan thi raat bhar ?
beti :- maa boyfriend ke paas gai thi.
Maa :- haramjadi kar aaye apna muh kala ?
Beti :- to kya hua “ fair and lovely” hai na.

32. ladki :- kaha se baat kar rahe ho ?
ladka :- bedroom se rajai ke andar se.
ladki :- wahan par coverage hai kya ?
ladka ;- ha mera personal tower jo khada hai..

33. ek din mallika sherawat apni life se pareshan ho kar railway line pe tang faila ke so gai
agle din paper main chhapa tha rajdhani express kahi kho gai..

34. kya hoga agar pepsodent wale condom banaye to ?
hona kya hai?.... raat bhar dhisum dhisum !!

35. a bra falls on a doodhwala when he was entrin a building.
He looks up and shouts oh behen ji ,aapke foofh ka fhakan gir gaya.

36. monkeys and girls both are same :they always fight only for bananas.
Whereas boys and rets are same : they are always searching for new holes.

37. talash ek gumshuda land ki rang sanwala, kad 6 inch, mundi kati hui,
kohinur extra pahne huye agar aapko kahen mile to apni gand main dal lena.

38. dhirtashtra : main khush hun ki tumne 100 putro ko janm diya.
Gandhari : swami agar aap andhe na hote to ye asambhav tha.

39. maa : beti ladka kaisa laga
beti : achha tha par thoda chota hai.
Maa : beti t.v. 14’ ka ho ya 29’ ka remote hamesha 6 ka hi hota hai.

40. girl :- I am like a radio, my left nipple is volume & right is tunner.
Boy turns both but there is no sound,
Girl :- chodu ! niche plug tera baap dalega..

41. bahu :- sasu ji aapke bete se kuch nahi hoga,
saas :- chup kar agar tere sasur ke bhrose rahti to aaj tu meri bahu nahi hoti.

42. girl :- arre itna bada muh main kaise lungi?
Boy :- muh to kholo
Girl :- chee! Sare kapde gile kar diye
Boy :- aur logi?
Girl :- nahi baba ye pani puri tum hi khao.

43. mere dost ki ek saheli the dosti hui to paheli thi,pyar hua to jaan hatheli pet hi,
aur shadi hui to pata chala ki wo ganga jamuna ki chameli thi.

44. ---------------kapde sukh rahe the.
Sasur :- ye kala kapda kiska hai?
Saas ;- bahu ki panty hai ji
Sasur :- achha! Kabhi pahne huye dekha nahi na isliye pucha.

45. girl :-if u try to kiss me main shor macha dungi
boy ;- par yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl :- pata hai par formality to nibhana padta hai..

46. arj kiya hai sandas ke pani main tairta hua gu “gaur farmaiye”
sandas ke paani main tairta hua gu. Sara jahan khoja tab mila tu.”wah wah”

47. class main ek ladki biscuit kha rahi thi thoda khake bre main chupa rahi thi
sir bole kya kar rahi ho, “baju main baitha hua sardar bola”
sir biscuit ko dudh main duba-duba ke kha rahi hai.

48. kamwali bai ko ek din condom mila
bai :- malkin ye kya hai?
Malkin ;- yere gaon main sex nahi hota kya.
Bai :-karte hai par itna nahi ki land ki khal nikal jaye.

49. wo shaniwar ki sham thi haath main glass bhari jam thi,
pilane wali itwari ki jhakas rand thi,aur jab hosh aaya tabpolice ka danda aur tere gand thi.

50. kya diya kudrat ne jamane ko ? ek diya ghusane ko ek diya dabane ko.
Par aaj kal ye sab kahan milta hai, milta hai to sirf hilane ko.

51. boy :- fool ho gulab ka jismain kante na ho, chut ho 16 ki jismain jhate na ho.
Girl :- gulab ke fool main log kante nahi dekhte,chut chodne wale kabhi jhate nahi dekhte.

52. sardar ki gand pe pimple hua wo aina rakh kar malam laga raha tha,to uska loda khada ho gaya
sardar bola abe niche baith ye apni hi gand hai.

53. mallika ;- I want 24 size bra.
Sales man ;- madam I think it is too small for your breast.
Mallika ;-not for my breast just to cover my nipple.

54. gabbar ;- yeh gand mujhe dede thakur
thakur :- dekh gabbar haath tak to thik hai lekin ye gand masti mujhe pasand nahi.

55. out side a pub a sardar asks a girl :- shall we have sex tonight?
Girl :- do u mind if I am on my menstrual cycle?
Sardar :- it is ok even I am on bajaj pulser.

56. meaning of wife and husband
w :-wonderfull
I :-item
F :- for
E :- entertainment
H :-handsome
U :-use full
S :-smart
B :-but
A :- at
N :- night
D :- dangerous

57. raat ke 12 baje premika kahti hai “ jadugar sainya chodo mere baiya ho gai aadhi raat ab ghar jane do”
premi :- “aadhi raat ko koi bhala chodta hai kya?”

58. bus stop pe ek ladki whisper ka paket lekar khadi thi.
Bhikhari :-kuch dedo
Ladki :-kuch nahi hai
Bhikhari :- ye bread ka puda dedo
Ladki :- kal aana sos laga ke dungi.

59. wo maja na takht main, na taj main,na puri duniya ke raaj main,na sur main,na saj main,
na kuber ke khajane main, jo maja hai subah uth kar gotiyan khujane main.

60. wife :- remove my skirt.
Sardar :- ok
Wife :- romove my top.
Sardar :- ok
Wife :- remove me bra.
Sardar :- ok
Wife :- remove my panties.
Sardar:- ok
Wife :- and never wear my dress again.

61. hello hello mera lelo……………………………….”dil”
bolo bolo aapni kholo…………………………….. “zuban”
dekho dekho apni khol ke dekho………………….. “aankhe”
dekha kitna bada hai mera………………………….. “dil”

62. bihari :- ari o doctor kaisa nasbandi kiya ho. Hamari biwi fir se maa banne wali hai.
Doctor :- sale ! hum nasbandi tuhri kiya hun .pure bihar hi nahi..

63. laila ko karna ho impress to majnu ne khai mintofress.
Jab majnu ko karma ho impress to laila ko utarna hoga apna dress ..
Bole to ek dum fresh.

64. hasrat thi ki khole unki salwar ka nada,unki bra ka hook, unki panty ka elastic,
par sanam ki berukhi to dekho.wo nangi hi chale aaye..

65. define rape :- it is an operation without co-operation for the insertion of erection
into depression without permission for the production..